One.

The scan went really well this morning. We have confirmation that there is only one baby in there. The measurements are all right on track and we saw the little flutter of a heartbeat. It brought tears to both of our eyes.

Our neighbor graciously came over to watch J at 6:30 this morning so we could get to the appointment on time. When I got home I showed her the scan photos and J asked to see them. I handed him two pictures wondering what I would tell him they were if he asked. He didn’t ask, instead he chuckled and said, “That’s cool pictures.” He then put them down and counted them- one two.

We are so thankful that everything looks great so far. We have decided to tell our families at Christmas. We are excited and a little perplexed about how life with two children works. It is hard to imagine loving anyone else as much as we love J or being as available to someone else. Of course, the thought of J as a big brother can reduce me to a puddle of tears- he is going to be so great at it. All is good.

Well…

Try # 3: BFP!!!!!

We really can’t believe it.  Like, at all.  I have been meaning to post about this cycle because it was such a train wreck.  This was the last try with our MD because she was so far away and we weren’t totally happy with the care.  We only went through with it because we had one more vial there and the logistics of trying to move it to the new MD were too difficult to contemplate.  It really was a last shot in the dark, so to speak.  Stick it up there and see what happens.  

Of all of our attempts, this was the first time I wasn’t able to go with L.  I had a lot of feelings about it at the time, and still do.  I had a meeting with the head of my department and between that and the fact that I work 2 hours from the hospital, there was no way I could make it in time.  It sounds stupid that I couldn’t blow off work, but we didn’t really think it would be successful.  If I knew it would have resulted in a BFP, I would have.  Honestly, this whole thing is a series of gambles and this time I drew the short straw.  L has tried to make me feel better about it, but it just brings up that tiny little fear that I am not an essential element in this process.  I know that is not true, I do.  But, come on, I wasn’t there when my wife got pregnant.  Ouch.

Anyway, not to get sidetracked from the good news, which is that all of the betas have been really strong.  According to beta.base, we are high for a singleton and low for twins.  Tomorrow morning we are going for an ultrasound.  L and I are both a little freaked out by the prospect of twins.  Not that it is not doable, I know we could do it, it is just not how we have ever conceived of our family.  Don’t laugh.  I know that we don’t get to choose exactly how this happens.  And we have known that meds increase likelihood; I even signed a consent to that effect.  The thought is just a crazy one.  On top of the numbers, L’s symptoms are totally different this time around.  I think that is pretty normal, but I think we are both wondering if things are different because there is more than one baby in there.  Her symptoms are way less uncomfortable than the first time around.  By now, she was sick, sick, sick.  She couldn’t look at anything green and actually stopped being able to go into our kitchen at all because she could smell the vegetables in the fridge.  Now, other than being bloated and pretty tired, she is practically normal.  Hasn’t thrown up once.  I really hope that holds.  Last time she threw up until 20 weeks.  It was rough for both of us- but mostly her.

So, hurray!  We are really pregnant.  We have told almost nobody, which has been fun, but it as it is feeling more real, it is hard not to be talking about it all the time.  Keep your fingers crossed for us for a good, successful scan tomorrow.  We are excited and nervous and hope hope hope the little one(s) is/are healthy and on track.