We tested over the weekend (it really is a team effort- L peed in the cup and I used the dropper to put the three drops into the little reservoir) and got nothing. We weren’t surprised because it was still early in the cycle, but we both had our fingers crossed yesterday. So we went to the RE to check things out. I am happy to report that L has a dominant follicle!! It is 13 mm and very pretty, if I do say so.
Now she/we will be testing every day and if we don’t get a positive we will go back on Thurs to check things out again. The RE said she likes it to be at least 18 before she does anything (triggering, I guess). So the way it looks, we may be inseminating at the end of this week, or this weekend!!
I am so excited, but I am trying not to get too ahead of myself. As I said over the weekend, I will not be convinced that this is really happening until the sperm is thawed. However, I am hopeful that we will really get to start this time. Yay!!
Please keep your fingers crossed…
It is day five and I start the clomid tonight. I am hoping that this all goes smoothly and that a beautiful, healthy egg develops. I also am hoping that I am not too emotional with a higher dose. H and I had such a nice weekend – full of celebrations (I turned 31), cupcakes, errands, and presents – I would love to continue this emotional high I am on right now.
Our niece at age two knew that red meant stop and green meant go.
I realized that my thinking on the meaning of these colors, when related to my period have changed so much in the TTCing process. I would imagine at most times in this process red would mean stop but right now red means go – and as I waited all day for that particular “go sign” I got that type of impatience I get while sitting at a stop light. When I was little I had a magic wand that I would wave from the car-seat in the back of the car to “change the light”. Sometimes I still think to myself that if I will the color to change it will. I have been reading a lot of blogs recently, I love it. It really is wonderful to feel resonance with others feelings, to read about peoples experiences that I know nothing about, and to feel so invested in other peoples successes and sadness.
I wish that I was still 3, in my backseat, firmly believing that I could create magic. I would waive my wand and we would all be pregnant. I would make all lights green (via a pregnancy test) or make a red light now and then, someone needed to start her period like me. It would be magic and wonderful.
Well I have cramps – sort of sharp ones so I am assuming the provera is working and I will get my period next Wednesday. In the spirit of progress I am going to try to accept these cramps as I sit on the couch with a hot water bottle and watch bad Friday night t.v.
So we went to the RE on Monday and it appears that I am not ovulating this cycle. I am doing my best to be positive, and I am doing a pretty good job except for a crying spell on Monday about how my body was all f*cked up.
I am going to start provera today and then do clomid again but 100 mg instead of 50 – hopefully this will not also increase my side effects because I actually had a pretty easy time on 50 mg.
I am really working hard to be okay with all of this – the waiting is bothering me but I know that this could be a very long experience and we are just at the beginning so I am trying to train myself to calm and focus on what I can control. So to that end I have decided I should really be exercising more. I ran yesterday, I plan to run tonight – hopefully I can keep that up.
ps. anyone with wordpress – do you know where the spell-check went? I am going to need it.
So the update is that we went to the dr.’s this morning and there are still no dominate follicles. she drew my blood and I will call this afternoon for the results, otherwise I will test over the weekend and go in on Monday. I am thinking that my body is just making a really great egg (or two — ekks) and I am just trying to be as calm as possible and enjoy this weekend with H. and my sister K who is in town. It should not be too hard, I hope.
So we went on Monday morning and there were no eggs that looked ready so we are going back tomorrow – I am hoping there is something there, or at least that they are bigger then on Monday morning. There is so much waiting – I know I have mentioned this before BUT it is still true that I need to work on my ability to just go with the flow. Hopefully there will be something egg related that is exciting to blog about tomorrow.