That sentence really sums up the experience in the Babypants household these last two weeks.
H. did have her surgery – Her hand is well, but not great. She is in a ton of pain, and as a result has had to rely on pain medication. The surgery did not have the best outcome (i.e. finger is not striaght) but the hope is that through physical therapy she will get back a good range of motion. The physical therapy however does cause a ton of pain. It could have been a lot worse, and one benfit of the whole experience is that we got to see Dakota, who was a hero for picking us up after the surgery. (We will post pictures soon, for those who are interested.)
And I am still suffering from morning sickness which is so poorly named in my humble opinion. I definitely feel it in the morning, but it is pretty strong in the evening too. There is an ever growing list of things I absolutely can’t smell with out fearing that I am going to lose my entire stomach. On the upside, I am getting more used to throwing up – I can sometimes even manage to have a full conversation in and around my trip to the bathroom. It is weird but I don’t really mind being sick at all. It is very reassuring. We are in the 9thweek – I am having my own personal count down to 12. I am bigger. Not in any way that someone would think that I was pregnant but more in a “I think she has been eating too much” way. I don’t think of myself as someone who has a ton of problems with my weight or body image, but this is a bit difficult. I keep focusing that this is all for a good cause and I hope I start showing in a more pregnant sense soon. Interestingly, I have not gained a pound. I lost weight for the first 7 weeks, and I just gained that back again. I have been relying on that bell.a band- a pretty good invention in my opinion. I also now have two pairs of maternity pants that are a bit too big but oh so much more comfortable then my regular clothes. It still does not feel real, this whole pregnancy thing. I still find my self looking at pregnant people a bit jealously. I also catch myself saying “when I get pregnant” – ummm. I am pregnant.
I think we have found another midwife. I have done some looking around. Co gave me the name of her midwifes who unfortunately do not take our insurance. We had pretty much given up on getting off a waiting list when a midwife called me. I had a long conversation on the phone with her, and I already like her more then our first midwife. She is in a practice with another midwife, she has more experience, and she was more helpful to me than the first midwife, even though it was a phone conversation. She had some good tips to avoid gestational diabetes, and as soon as I can stand eating vegetables, or not just able to eat plain carbs (read: crackers), I am going to start a gestational diabetes diet even though I have not been diagnosed th it and the test is not for a long time. She also was warmer and seemed more inclusive of H. All important qualities.
The tiredness, nausea, and H.’s surgery have been so time consuming. I find myself apologizing again for my lack of comments or a post. I am sorry. I can’t wait until that 2nd trimester energy starts.
That was my thought this morning about the happy tears running down my face as we left the RE’s office this morning. Sprout is doing really well, s/he still has a great heartbeat, as my dr said “the heartbeat is really strong”, and it has grown at the right amount. It was nice to see our little blob of a sprout this morning and Dr. B was funny when she said “Well, I can’t say that your baby is distinguished yet, but it sure is cute.” The news was so good in fact that we were “released” from the RE. I have to say that I think I was a bit emotional knowing that we will not see dr. B again. Her first impression is that she is cold but she really is very invested, she gave H and I hugs this morning as we left, and we really have been through so many ups and downs while under her care. Back when she found the cyst I talked to her almost every night for a week, often with me crying on the phone, and she would almost aways be the one to call and say we are “not pregnant”. We will miss her. She really wanted an update with pictures when it comes time for that… it was quite touching. I know I am hormonal, but today was really the first time I have cried happy tears since getting pregnant. I have been having a hard time not worrying. It was a good feeling to have tears streaming down my face while in the middle of Park Avenue.
We did have an appointment with a midwife yesterday. I don’t know what her blog name will be yet, and I don’t know if we will stay with her. We did like her, but we did not LOVE her. I don’t know what I want really, but I imagined loving our midwife. It could be possible that we would once we knew her more (like with Dr. B). First impressions are hard, they can be hard to shake but also so unreliable. I think we would like to interview some more. We are limited though. When we called around to midwives last week who deliver at the hospital we would love to give birth at – they were already booked for the month of May and we were put on two waiting lists. Can you believe that?? We are still waiting to hear back from three others. Anyway I will call around again to see if there are any openings-maybe other people decided they did not LOVE our ideal mythical midwife. Something might just have to give, either we go to a different birthing center, or we don’t absolutely love our midwife. I think either would be okay. So we don’t have another appointment until election day. Wow that seems far away. I have read this on other blogs but I think it is going to be such a transition to not be so medically monitored. A good one, but a big transition.
In other medical news – H. is getting surgery on her finger on Monday. (She broke it on Christmas day last year, sledding, and had surgery on it right before my surgery in January – it was a fun winter as I am sure you can tell.) This surgery is to clear out all the scar tissue in the hopes that she will have more movement. Right now her pinkie on her left hand is permanently stuck at a 90 degree angle, which is not that useful. We will post pictures if that does not gross people out… maybe in a password protected post.
I have been doing okay. Mainly pretty tired and nauseous. I have never been so happy to be nauseous in my life. I have only thrown up 3 times, but the nausea just comes and goes in waves. I have been sucking on ginger and eating saltines before I get out bed in the morning. I have been really, REALLY bad about commenting on peoples blogs. I am mostly up to date, so you guys should expect some comments from me soon. I am sorry I dropped off the earth, I blame the fact I fall asleep at work now and go to bed at 9. Seriously. Wow this is a rambly post.
Sprout – s/he has a heartbeat – which was an amazing sight this morning and such a relief. S/he is measuring a bit behind which was a topic of discussion this morning, but did not seem like a huge problem. Dr. B was not super excited about the fact that we are planning on going to go see a midwife. She seems to think that I have a good chance of being high risk because of PCOS since that could put me at a higher risk for gestational diabetes. I don’t think there is any chance that will not go to a midwife – unless I have some really big complications. My mother is midwife and that was the concept of birth that I was raised on. (I would never say it was the only way to have a great birth however.) I see me having to stand my ground on this one – or just not have my confidence knocked down about it.