Monthly Archives: October 2011

Musings from the tail end of the TWW: now from my new iPhone!

This is the stuff of dreams. I am really excited that I will be able to post on the go! Of course I am sitting at home and not on the go at all, but I like knowing it is possible.

We are now at week 1.5 of the TWW. L and I had a conversation today about how this time around, things feel so different. I find that I am not nearly as emotional about the tries and the TWWs as I was the first time. Of course we are only on our second TWW, so I am sure that is part of it. But I also wonder how much is self protection. This sh!t is hard, after all. Also, our lives were really different last time. In addition to wanting a baby more than anything in the world, we made a lot of plans based on the birth of said baby. The major thing was that we planned to move out of NYC once the baby was born. (We did in fact move when J was 5 weeks old, which I will tell you was a really stupid plan. I would not encourage anyone to do this.) It really felt like we needed this baby thing to come through so we could get on with all of our other life plans. The mythical baby was the key to unlock our future. We put even more pressure on an already difficult process. Every BFN, not to mention L’s surgery that delayed us starting, felt like our plans were stalled and we were in a holding pattern waiting for something (everything) to change.

We want this baby just as much as the first one, but this time we are settled in a life that we really love. Luckily, this baby just has to be a baby. That is enough pressure.


TWW #2

I have had a really hard time finding time to post so I am late in saying that we are in the throes of TWW #2.  L finally got her LH surge on Saturday morning, which was CD 20.  She called the hospital and found out they could see us that morning.  We changed out of pajamas as fast as we could and raced down to the hospital.  Unlike last time, the nurse was really friendly and nice.  It was an easy appointment, but no ultrasound, as I had feared. 

Afterward we went into a small town nearby for coffee and muffins and noticed an antique train pull into the station, which is right down town.  J loves trains so we decided to go take a look.  First we saw a huge old steam engine and as we approached J said, “Beautiful” in a hushed town.  He was totally awed.  We then saw that there were 2 hour “leaf-peeping” train rides and we decided, on the spur of the moment, to jump on board.  There were many families on the train who had obviously planned ahead and had picnic lunches and the like.  We realized once aboard that we didn’t even have an extra diaper.  So like us.  Luckily, everything worked out on that front.  J was really excited and loved the train ride until he fell fast asleep 45 minutes in.  Train rides are very relaxing, after all.  For the rest of the trip L and talked and took in the beautiful scenery.  It was the perfect thing to do after an insem.

L started prog.esterone on Monday and now we wait.  We are undecided about when we will test.  As it always seems, this first week has gone pretty fast, so I assume next week will drag by.  Here’s hoping that we will get a BFP and not have to worry about changing doctors or any of that mess. 

Also, please keep Olive and Fern in your thoughts as they wait for sweet little Goldie while also dealing with pre-e.

Doing it again.

Here I am blogging again.  This is a two-year record! 

As you may have guessed, if you saw my last post, the last TWW ended in a BFN.  We were both disappointed.  It was strange because L’s period came really early, which is never how her body acts.  It came on Monday and we were going to test on the following Saturday.  Strange indeed.  L’s MD does not prescribe prog.esterone as a matter of course and did not do a blood test after insem.  Previously, blood tests always showed she had low proges.terone and she would be put on it, but not this time.  We have wondered if this factored into the results.

Folks inquired about the differences between this time and last time and I would say that the lack of monitoring is one of the biggest.  We had an initial appointment with the MD which was very comprehensive.  At that appointment she gave L a prescription for Fem.ara and the instructions on the protocol.  This was a couple of months before we actually started trying.  When the month came that we were going to start, L talked to the nurse to check in and followed the protocol.  The Fem.ara seemed to work like a charm.  Day 14 ov.ulation, day 15 we went in for the insem.  They didn’t do an ultrasound, just a simple stirrups and syringe affair.  Then we were sent home to wait.  It all felt a little too easy (if it worked) and like we had too little information about what was actually happening.  We have to travel about an hour to the appointments so the lack of daily/any monitoring has its benefits, but it would be nice to feel like we know more about if/how the meds are working, how many follicles there are, etc.  

For this next round, L requested that she be put on proge.sterone and the MD promptly prescribed it.  The dose of Fem.ara was doubled.  I wonder if they will do an ultrasound this time.  I hope so.  L has PC.OS so, from what I read, her body could be doing anything with the meds and I just want to know what we are dealing with. 

The other major difference is that in NYC we saw the MD at every appointment.  This time, the MD works between two distant locations and we haven’t seen her since the initial appointment.  L has talked to her on the phone, but mostly to the nurses.  This has been frustrating, but perhaps one of the things that happens when you decide to move out of the city.

My job recently moved because my building was destroyed by tropical storm Irene.  Sadly, I now work 45 minutes from home, rather than 15.  My new location is also in the opposite direction of the hospital.  If we have to go in on a work day, it would mean missing at least half a day.  We are thinking about changing doctors to one that is on this side of the state, but doesn’t have as good a reputation.  Although, they did knock up a friend of ours, which is all that really matters.  We are impatiently waiting for ov.ulation and will do the next insem. with our current practice, but we are concurrently working on seeing the new MD if this round is another BFN.  Ideally, we could switch without having to miss a month of trying.

Have any of you had experience with Fem.ara?  This is our first time.  It makes L less crazy than, which we all appreciate, but she is on double the dose this month and ovula.tion is happening much much slower.  Is that normal?