Author Archives: h.babypants

One.

The scan went really well this morning. We have confirmation that there is only one baby in there. The measurements are all right on track and we saw the little flutter of a heartbeat. It brought tears to both of our eyes.

Our neighbor graciously came over to watch J at 6:30 this morning so we could get to the appointment on time. When I got home I showed her the scan photos and J asked to see them. I handed him two pictures wondering what I would tell him they were if he asked. He didn’t ask, instead he chuckled and said, “That’s cool pictures.” He then put them down and counted them- one two.

We are so thankful that everything looks great so far. We have decided to tell our families at Christmas. We are excited and a little perplexed about how life with two children works. It is hard to imagine loving anyone else as much as we love J or being as available to someone else. Of course, the thought of J as a big brother can reduce me to a puddle of tears- he is going to be so great at it. All is good.

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Well…

Try # 3: BFP!!!!!

We really can’t believe it.  Like, at all.  I have been meaning to post about this cycle because it was such a train wreck.  This was the last try with our MD because she was so far away and we weren’t totally happy with the care.  We only went through with it because we had one more vial there and the logistics of trying to move it to the new MD were too difficult to contemplate.  It really was a last shot in the dark, so to speak.  Stick it up there and see what happens.  

Of all of our attempts, this was the first time I wasn’t able to go with L.  I had a lot of feelings about it at the time, and still do.  I had a meeting with the head of my department and between that and the fact that I work 2 hours from the hospital, there was no way I could make it in time.  It sounds stupid that I couldn’t blow off work, but we didn’t really think it would be successful.  If I knew it would have resulted in a BFP, I would have.  Honestly, this whole thing is a series of gambles and this time I drew the short straw.  L has tried to make me feel better about it, but it just brings up that tiny little fear that I am not an essential element in this process.  I know that is not true, I do.  But, come on, I wasn’t there when my wife got pregnant.  Ouch.

Anyway, not to get sidetracked from the good news, which is that all of the betas have been really strong.  According to beta.base, we are high for a singleton and low for twins.  Tomorrow morning we are going for an ultrasound.  L and I are both a little freaked out by the prospect of twins.  Not that it is not doable, I know we could do it, it is just not how we have ever conceived of our family.  Don’t laugh.  I know that we don’t get to choose exactly how this happens.  And we have known that meds increase likelihood; I even signed a consent to that effect.  The thought is just a crazy one.  On top of the numbers, L’s symptoms are totally different this time around.  I think that is pretty normal, but I think we are both wondering if things are different because there is more than one baby in there.  Her symptoms are way less uncomfortable than the first time around.  By now, she was sick, sick, sick.  She couldn’t look at anything green and actually stopped being able to go into our kitchen at all because she could smell the vegetables in the fridge.  Now, other than being bloated and pretty tired, she is practically normal.  Hasn’t thrown up once.  I really hope that holds.  Last time she threw up until 20 weeks.  It was rough for both of us- but mostly her.

So, hurray!  We are really pregnant.  We have told almost nobody, which has been fun, but it as it is feeling more real, it is hard not to be talking about it all the time.  Keep your fingers crossed for us for a good, successful scan tomorrow.  We are excited and nervous and hope hope hope the little one(s) is/are healthy and on track.

Musings from the tail end of the TWW: now from my new iPhone!

This is the stuff of dreams. I am really excited that I will be able to post on the go! Of course I am sitting at home and not on the go at all, but I like knowing it is possible.

We are now at week 1.5 of the TWW. L and I had a conversation today about how this time around, things feel so different. I find that I am not nearly as emotional about the tries and the TWWs as I was the first time. Of course we are only on our second TWW, so I am sure that is part of it. But I also wonder how much is self protection. This sh!t is hard, after all. Also, our lives were really different last time. In addition to wanting a baby more than anything in the world, we made a lot of plans based on the birth of said baby. The major thing was that we planned to move out of NYC once the baby was born. (We did in fact move when J was 5 weeks old, which I will tell you was a really stupid plan. I would not encourage anyone to do this.) It really felt like we needed this baby thing to come through so we could get on with all of our other life plans. The mythical baby was the key to unlock our future. We put even more pressure on an already difficult process. Every BFN, not to mention L’s surgery that delayed us starting, felt like our plans were stalled and we were in a holding pattern waiting for something (everything) to change.

We want this baby just as much as the first one, but this time we are settled in a life that we really love. Luckily, this baby just has to be a baby. That is enough pressure.

TWW #2

I have had a really hard time finding time to post so I am late in saying that we are in the throes of TWW #2.  L finally got her LH surge on Saturday morning, which was CD 20.  She called the hospital and found out they could see us that morning.  We changed out of pajamas as fast as we could and raced down to the hospital.  Unlike last time, the nurse was really friendly and nice.  It was an easy appointment, but no ultrasound, as I had feared. 

Afterward we went into a small town nearby for coffee and muffins and noticed an antique train pull into the station, which is right down town.  J loves trains so we decided to go take a look.  First we saw a huge old steam engine and as we approached J said, “Beautiful” in a hushed town.  He was totally awed.  We then saw that there were 2 hour “leaf-peeping” train rides and we decided, on the spur of the moment, to jump on board.  There were many families on the train who had obviously planned ahead and had picnic lunches and the like.  We realized once aboard that we didn’t even have an extra diaper.  So like us.  Luckily, everything worked out on that front.  J was really excited and loved the train ride until he fell fast asleep 45 minutes in.  Train rides are very relaxing, after all.  For the rest of the trip L and talked and took in the beautiful scenery.  It was the perfect thing to do after an insem.

L started prog.esterone on Monday and now we wait.  We are undecided about when we will test.  As it always seems, this first week has gone pretty fast, so I assume next week will drag by.  Here’s hoping that we will get a BFP and not have to worry about changing doctors or any of that mess. 

Also, please keep Olive and Fern in your thoughts as they wait for sweet little Goldie while also dealing with pre-e.

Doing it again.

Here I am blogging again.  This is a two-year record! 

As you may have guessed, if you saw my last post, the last TWW ended in a BFN.  We were both disappointed.  It was strange because L’s period came really early, which is never how her body acts.  It came on Monday and we were going to test on the following Saturday.  Strange indeed.  L’s MD does not prescribe prog.esterone as a matter of course and did not do a blood test after insem.  Previously, blood tests always showed she had low proges.terone and she would be put on it, but not this time.  We have wondered if this factored into the results.

Folks inquired about the differences between this time and last time and I would say that the lack of monitoring is one of the biggest.  We had an initial appointment with the MD which was very comprehensive.  At that appointment she gave L a prescription for Fem.ara and the instructions on the protocol.  This was a couple of months before we actually started trying.  When the month came that we were going to start, L talked to the nurse to check in and followed the protocol.  The Fem.ara seemed to work like a charm.  Day 14 ov.ulation, day 15 we went in for the insem.  They didn’t do an ultrasound, just a simple stirrups and syringe affair.  Then we were sent home to wait.  It all felt a little too easy (if it worked) and like we had too little information about what was actually happening.  We have to travel about an hour to the appointments so the lack of daily/any monitoring has its benefits, but it would be nice to feel like we know more about if/how the meds are working, how many follicles there are, etc.  

For this next round, L requested that she be put on proge.sterone and the MD promptly prescribed it.  The dose of Fem.ara was doubled.  I wonder if they will do an ultrasound this time.  I hope so.  L has PC.OS so, from what I read, her body could be doing anything with the meds and I just want to know what we are dealing with. 

The other major difference is that in NYC we saw the MD at every appointment.  This time, the MD works between two distant locations and we haven’t seen her since the initial appointment.  L has talked to her on the phone, but mostly to the nurses.  This has been frustrating, but perhaps one of the things that happens when you decide to move out of the city.

My job recently moved because my building was destroyed by tropical storm Irene.  Sadly, I now work 45 minutes from home, rather than 15.  My new location is also in the opposite direction of the hospital.  If we have to go in on a work day, it would mean missing at least half a day.  We are thinking about changing doctors to one that is on this side of the state, but doesn’t have as good a reputation.  Although, they did knock up a friend of ours, which is all that really matters.  We are impatiently waiting for ov.ulation and will do the next insem. with our current practice, but we are concurrently working on seeing the new MD if this round is another BFN.  Ideally, we could switch without having to miss a month of trying.

Have any of you had experience with Fem.ara?  This is our first time.  It makes L less crazy than clom.id, which we all appreciate, but she is on double the dose this month and ovula.tion is happening much much slower.  Is that normal?

Protected: Our hearts are split open with joy…

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He is here!!!!

Just a quick post to let you know that our son has arrived.    The birth was amazing and as different as it could be from what we imagined.  L had a C-section after a 14 hour labor including 3 hours of pushing – this boy just did not want to be born.   However,  he was finally born on Sunday morning at 12:26 and was 8lbs 11oz.    He is incredible and we both have completely fallen for him.   We are all going home from the hospital today and will do a bigger password protected post latter on tonight or tomorrow.   Please email for the password.     Here are some pictures of the boy in the meantime.

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