stories from the homefront.

I have been in a baby fog but here are the bits that are sticking with me right now:

1. love: I have never fallen so in love so fast and hard.    I have a hard time not staring at this baby.   It did not happen the moment he was born – as I thought it would be.    I am sure that has a lot to do with the C-section and the fact that I was absolutely convinced that we would have a girl.    As in we did not even have a middle name for him picked out – I was sure that would not be a problem.    He has the softest head.    I love holding him and stroking his head – he seems to like that too.

2. sharing: I have been having trouble with this.    I welcome sharing him with H.   I love seeing him with her.    He loves to sleep on her, and actually seems more peaceful there then with me (I think because he can not smell my milk as much).    I have been having trouble sharing with my MIL.   She is here this week to help me, as H is back at work (( which totally sucks)).    Sadly her idea of help is to take the baby for walks, or holding him.     Both are difficult for me.     Her taking him for walks is hard because I really invisioned this time as us walking around our neighborhood and me talking to him about all of our favorites.    But instead, I am house bound because of the C-section and the 4 flights of stairs.     I could hold him all the time – I don’t ever feel like I “need a break” from him as she says.      She is so well intentioned.   So well intentioned.    I have been just taking some deep breaths and practicing letting go.

3. feeding: I have a bucket load of milk.  My shirts are soaked and in the morning I wake up in a puddle of milk.  Our lactation consultat actually insinulated that it was because I was from a rural state – so funny.   I do seem to have flat nipp.les which means that he has been having a really hard time latching on.   This lead to tears on both sides of the nipp.le and I have now purchased a nipp.le shield.   It seems to have relieved a lot of anxiety on his side.    I am a bit worried that he will not be able to nurse with out it.

4.  sleeping: His is completely varies.   sometimes he sleeps for 4 hours, but more frequently it is 2.5 hours..   My sleeping is good.   I love being able to sleep on my back again.   LOVE it.

5. moving:  we have moved our moving date back.   we now will begin our next adventure on the 15th of july.    This has brought some peace into our life.    It would have been crazy to move so soon after his birth.   I never anticipated he would be so late nor that I would have a C-section.

6. birth:  so many feelings.   I am going to write a seperate post once I figure out some of those feelings a bit better.

Thank you everyone for your congratulations.    It is wonderful to feel so loved.


17 responses to “stories from the homefront.

  1. Loved reading this update. And so glad you are so in love with your boy. I have a very hard time seeing anyone else pick up our son besides my wife. I am very protective/possessive over him even though I do welcome breaks. A strange juxtaposition.
    Those first few weeks were difficult in many ways, but things just keep getting better.

  2. I’m so happy to see your update! You sound so happy. I can’t wait to meet the little Sprout! xoxo

  3. i think i would have a hard time turning my newborn over to my MIL also, that’s very understandable!

    sounds like everything is going well, it was so nice to read your update. enjoy holding your sweet boy and stroking his soft head 🙂

  4. i delight in sleeping on my back now tooooo! 🙂 i’m jealous of all that milk you have!

    have fun with that baby boy and post some more pics soon!

  5. so glad to hear an update on the babypants household, and about how you are doing my friend. sounds challenging with the MIL… glad she is bonding with her little grandson… seems she has accepted him as her own… course, i can understand that her doing that in a few months might have been better… like say, when you are in her neck of the woods later this year… and not when all you want to do is be up close and personal with your little one, or to watch your fabulous wife with him. why, oh why can’t she just clean and feed you and do errands 😉 sucks that H had to go back to work so soon!

  6. I don’t think many people fall in love immediately upon delivery. I didn’t, with either of ours, but it comes soon enough.

    It sounds like you’re doing great. Hang in there with everything.

  7. If it makes you feel any better, my very own mother drove me absolutely bonkers when she was helping me after I gave birth. I think it was my hormones. But don’t bother feeling guilty about it. Kisses to the whole family.

  8. the c-section recovery is an interesting road but i promise you it gets better. there were days when i thought i would always be in that state – that my abilities would never be the same. but trust me, it does get easier with time.

    please be gentle with yourself and your recovery and be sure you are taking your pain meds! i weaned myself off of them almost immediately when i got home, and for my pain sake, i should have stayed on them a bit longer.

    i’m happy to hear that your milk supply is awesome! i was thankful that that is something i didn’t have to worry about after the c-section. as his mouth gets bigger, he should be able to latch on without the shield.

    you are doing awesome! i look forward to reading more about your feeling surrounding the birth.

  9. Congratulations! He is beatiful, and I would totally sit there all day and stroke his head too!!! Enjoy. 🙂

  10. Even if your MIL is the most wonderful and sweet person in the world, I totally understand how it is hard to deal with her during such a personal and vulnerable time.

    Wishing you a quick recovery and hoping your move is easy peasy.

  11. Thanks for peeling yourself away from your beautiful boy to give us an update! More milk because you’re from a rural state… Seriously?! That is hysterical. Take good care of yourself right now. I was totally unprepared for how long my c-section recovery would take, but I felt human again eventually and you will too. 🙂

  12. notesfrom2moms

    sorry to be late in saying congrats… you sounds so in love it is wonderful… wanted to share that i had lots of milk and flat nipples and used a sheild… it was necessary at every feeding until about 3 weeks.. then with the help of a lactation consultant we weaned off… so hold out hope.. congrats again ladies.

  13. Delurking to say congrats. I’ve been following your blog for a while and am so happy for you. We just had our twin boys and I had a very hard time letting anyone see them. I think the first month my MIL was wondering if they really existed!

  14. reproducinggenius

    It sounds like you are doing so well, and I’m so happy to hear that!

    Also, my sister used a nipple shield due to inverted nipples, and she was able to stop using them after a couple of months (she probably could have sooner, but that’s just my sister), so don’t worry that you’ll be using them forever. Whatever works is great! And how fantastic that you have such good supply.

    Take care! xoxo

  15. Thanks for the update! All your challenges sound within the range of normal and all your joys sound absolutely perfect!

  16. I hear you on the MIL front….I felt EXACTLY the same way. So normal! Wonderful update lady, and can’t wait to see some more photos! Yay for lots of milk and this special special time! xoxo

  17. Sounds wonderful over there. So happy for you all, MIL situation sounds perfectly normal! Good luck with the move. xo

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