I need to work on this. I am so baby crazed and to that end, I just can spend hours pouring over baby clothes (old navy is having sale now) and ponder the wonders of the BOB stroller, and consider, thoughtfully, the benefits of cloth or G-diapers or disposables. You can see how this list can go on and on, and well, I need to stop it.

I really don’t think we are going to be a one hit wonder (what with my cycles and recent surgery) and even if we were to be it is not time to be considering all these things. I am just having a hard time turning it off. And all of these thoughts are running around in my head and not the Colorado bar materials – which I really need to remember. The bar is in two weeks, and while there is very little pressure to pass (since we are not moving there in any defined time and I have a job, here in NYC, where we will be for at least the next year) it would be nice to not have to take it again.

I think the core problem is that I am a planner. I always have been and I have pretty much done what was original plan most of my life. We had a plan to start in late November/early December and it got all f*cked up, a surgery was necessary and as a result I am home all day with tons to do (please see above re: studying) but I can’t focus and all I see are onsies. I can foresee that the biggest problem for me, with this fertility stuff, is the lack of plan and my strong desire for one. Thus, I am back to the beginning, I need to focus on small things, taking prenatal vitamins, taking the bar, going for walks and deep, deep breaths.

Here is to a weekend with a new focus – I hope.