last day

We are getting closer and I am starting to feel it.   Every day people are asking me at work – why are still here and when is that baby coming?   It is funny to answer the same question so many times in one day.    I am wrapping up work.   Or actually I have been finishing up work for a while now.   But tomorrow is my last day at work.   I am so lucky, my job while not a high paying legal job does well in the benefits department.   So after tomorrow I will be on disability (which is amazingly full pay and does not take away my maternity time) until the baby comes.    I was thinking that I would go out sometime next week and I was discussing this with H and our midwife on Wednesday and the midwife we met with was asking me why I was waiting.   She said, as H has been saying to me for weeks, that being on my feet, standing in court, dealing with my stress and the stress of other people are not good things at this point in my pregnancy.   The midwife said – if you are exhausted at the end of the day then you need to not be at work because at the end of any day now you are going to have a baby.    That does put it all in perspective a bit.  I have to say that I am feeling mixed about not having any more work.    There are tons of things that are so positive about it obviously.   First, I feel so lucky that this as a possibility for me, and that I will be able to sleep in the middle of the day because I am horrible at sleeping at night right now, and of course I have a million projects I would like to get done before the baby arrives.  It feels strange too, I love/hate my job and I have been planning on leaving it for so long.   It is a funny how much I dislike change I guess.   I did not expect the sadness I have been feeling around leaving my work.

Everything at the midwifes appointment went well.   I am negative for Strep B   Also the baby has officially “dropped”.    It is pretty funny how I had gotten used to not being able to take really deep breaths and how I had become accustomed to my belly always touching my boobs. I am going to miss this belly.  Now things have significantly shifted.    As a result I feel like there is a bowling ball in my pelvis.     The other big news is that the baby was measuring big by two weeks.   This did not make my midwife blink really but it certainly has been in the back of my mind quite a bit.   I have been measuring small or perfectly on week and then all of a sudden a two week jump.    I suspect the baby is tall.   I am tall and our donor is 6′2.   Then three people from our birth class came 10 days before their due dates (0urs is the 23rd based on conception and the 26th based on an early ultrasound).    I think in my heart I could be early.   My friend at work told me that she went out on disability at 38 weeks and then cleaned her house like crazy and gave birth 4 days later.

I am going to try to figure out how to put some polls in the blog over the weekend, I would love to know what you guys think about when the baby will come and if Sprout is a boy or a girl.   A random but increasing amount of homeless men of NYC think we are having a girl.   I suspect being out of work and being so close is going to lead to more blogging time and commenting.   One problem of winding down at work is that I actually have been working pretty hard which leads to poor blog maintenance.

Musings on 36 weeks

36 weeks.   whew.   I can’t believe it really.   I am feeling 36 weeks pregnant and the heat that has hit our city has been difficult.   My hands and feet are so swollen.    I have been trying to drink as much water as possible and keep my feet up - but both have not had a huge effect.   We had a very busy weekend with my sisters in town and a shower which was beyond wonderful.    (Post on that to come.)      I think we are all getting ready.   For me it thinking about ending work soon, figuring how to eat and manage heartburn, and needing a large amount of organization.    I still have to say I can’t believe we are at this point of the planning/pregnancy.    For H. it has been dreaming of the birth (she had a dream this weekend that we went to the birth center and it was fithly and had dirty laundry in piles all over it), figuring out what her plan will be with work when the baby is born, and lots of taking care of me.     Sprout for his or her part has been working its way down.   I feel that the baby is moving less and it is easy to feel the baby’s head at the base of my belly.   We both have been a bit worried about the swine flu.   We are not real big worry warts – but I do work with a “vulnerable population” at work and the very first word that there is an outbreak at the jail H and I have decided I am not going back to work.    We have an appointment with our midwife this week and plan to talk about going to disability before the baby is born – I hope she can put some of these worries to rest.     I think there must be a huge hormonal shift going on.    I have been weepy recently, I think alot of it is emotionally feeling overwhelmed by everything that is coming our direction, but I have been clingy and needing lots of reassurance from H.    I think I am like a mama bird getting her nest all ready.   

I also can not help but to say that we are getting close to our due date here people and in all seriousness (and love) I would like to see some more BFPs before our baby comes.    I said to Olive a while ago that it feels strange to be getting ready for our baby to arrive when we don’ t know when theirs will be coming.    I feel the same about many of you.    You know who you are.    My personal deadline is that you all get pregnant before I give birth.   There I said it.   No pressure.

The state of the belly

Here is the most recent belly shot. I am 35 weeks today. I can’t believe it really. I am now walking like a pregnant lady. It is pretty funny to me, but I am getting a bit tired of other people saying I am waddling. There has got to be a better word – I can’t say they are wrong however!!! In other news today is my birthday. I feel pretty low energy about it. I think my whole mind is focused on a different birth day coming up soon.

Boston Creme Donuts

I am obsessed. I never was before these last couple of weeks. I am trying to limit myself to one a day, I really should be limiting myself to one a week.    I make sure I always have a dollar in my wallet so I can buy one at will.   I hope this dissipates after this baby is born.   I really don’t need a donut habit. Really don’t.

Massive update.

Okay it has been forever since either of us have updated – please forgive us.  And please forgive us for a bulleted post there has just been so much going on to have a concise post in any other fashion.

• We went to go see H’s grandmother.   She is our only living grandparent and we both love her so very much.   Her health has been not great but it was so wonderful to see her doing well – sometimes it is difficult to assess how someone is over the phone.    If we are having a girl we plan to name her after H’s grandmother.     She was really funny about this.    She asked me if I was sure I wanted to name the baby after her.   And after I said yes she said “Well, you know what you are getting yourself into”.    It was funny.    We just love this opinionated and lively 91 year old lady and we would be so grateful if our child turned out like her.
• While there we also got to see Lizzie.    It was good to leave the retirement community and wonderful to see Lizzie.  We had coffee and walked around her neighborhood.   I am again reminded of how wonderful it is to have the friends we have made through this blog – while we did not expect that outcome we are always grateful for it.   She gave us our pay it forward present.    A really wonderful fleece blanket that Sprout will be so cozy on.   (Eeks we have got to get on our pay it forward presents!)
• Sprout is doing great.    He/She is head down, kicking all the time, measuring right on the due date, and certainly seems brilliant so far.     We are 33 weeks -  EEEKS.     We are ready, we are ready, we are ready.    I am feeling pretty good.   My hip pain has seemed to get better and really my only complaint is that my heartburn has been pretty bad.   I am always checking to make sure that I have T.ums with me.    My other big pregnancy symptom is that my right br.east has been leaking… it is a bit freaky.    I guess I am happy that it is gearing up to work well – should I worry about my left???
• We have finished our birth class and really we are thankful to be done.    Our instructor never was able change her language from Mother/Father on any consistent basis.    Our fellow couples were so great and never made us feel awkward but the teacher really did.     When you new york couples are (soon) looking for a birth class in NYC we really encourage you to contact us so you don’t go to the class we did.    I think the BIG lesson learned is to ask more questions such as “have you had same-sex couples in your class?” “have you been to a same-sex couples birth” etc.     Our instructor came to us very highly recommended but from a straight couple and we live in such a liberal place – we just did not think.     We will certainly be asking these sort of questions for the pediatrician, pre-school etc.
• I think because it has been a little warmer and I have been wearing more form fitting clothes people have been noticing that I am pregnant.    I have been getting tons of comments from people who I see at work only occasionally.  Also, strangely, homeless men have been commenting on my pregnancy status.    2 out of 3 of them have stated that I am having a girl.    This is actually been the general vote from co-workers and friends.    There are so many days when I wished we just knew – although I am pretty sure I would make the same decision to wait if I were to make it again.
• My mother was in town for the last 6 days.    It was so wonderful to see her and she was able to meet one of our midwives.    I was sad to see her go, although I felt a bit over momed.   I am sure you can relate to that feeling.   She loved feeling this little baby move and it was a lot of baby talk.
• My sisters and our friends have organized a shower for us in a couple of weeks.    I am excited to celebrate this baby with them.     I am bit more nervous for the shower that is being planned at work.   I really don’t like to be the center of attention.    Although I am sure most people will be coming for the food options.
• Vermont has legalized same-sex marriage which means that we will be getting hitched this September on the anniversary of our civil union.    H has been talking about how excited she is to say our vows while holding Sprout and I have just been tearing up.    I consider H my wife but I think being legally married will have an affect on how I talk about it.

I am going to try to update more often.  really. xoxo L.

Lollypop lady

That is what I am starting to look like.   Here we are at 30 weeks, actually going on 31 weeks in a couple of days. I have been feeling pretty good.   My hip pain has been pretty bad.  And I finally called a chiropractor on thursday and then of course it has been better since I made the call.    I may cancel my appointment which is not for another week if I continue to feel better since it is not covered by insurance and it seems like it will add up pretty quick.

We have not made much progress on the baby front.   I feel like we go through spurts of productivity.    A really nice co-worker of mine is giving us a bassinet – actually the one that we have always coveted but would never purchase for ourselves.   (She does not have the expansion kit so we will just use it until Sprout is 6 months and then switch to our I.kea crib – which I actually really love.)  We are picking up the bassinet today so I am sure we will do a huge re-shifting today.    i will post pictures if we make any good progress today.

I don’t know if it has made national news but there has been a committee in Vermont that has now decided to let the legislature vote on same-sex marriage.    It is expected to pass at this point and it is possible that Vermont will be performing same-sex marriages by September 1, 2009.   Which means that we might be able to get married on our 3 year civil union anniversary.    A family friend went to the hearing that was held this week by the committee and he wanted to read a statement from us since we could not go to the hearing ourselves.   This is what we wrote:

We are L. and H. and we thank you for allowing our voice to be heard at this hearing.  This September we will celebrate the third anniversary of our wedding celebration held in Peacham.  We were the first couple to apply for a civil union in Peacham, though we would much rather have been applying for a marriage license.  We chose to have our celebration here in Vermont because L. is a proud Vermonter and H., who is from Colorado, has grown to love Vermont as her second home.  It was a wonderful day filled with our family and friends who were so happy to share that special day with us.  L. is now pregnant with our first child, who will be born in May.  We are so humbled and excited to teach our child all about the world, but what we struggle with is how we will explain to him or her that, under the law, our family is not considered equal to those of his or her cousins, the kids in school, or our neighbors.  Not only is this true nationally, but also here in Vermont, where our life as a family began.  This is where L. and I promised to be true to and take care of each other; just as many of you have promised a spouse.  We have the love, the commitment, and soon to be the baby.  All we lack is the equality that we deserve and that our child deserves.  We hope and pray that your actions here will allow us to be the first same sex couple to apply for a marriage license in Peacham.  Thank you.

I am getting really excited about being able to get legally married in my hometown.  I hope that I do not get heartbroken by Vermont.  My mother has sent the most amazingly beautiful letters to her representives asking them to vote for the bill.   I am once again reminded how lucky both H. and I are to be born into our families.   I hope that whoever Sprout is he or she feels as supported by us.

We going to see H’s grandmother who is an amazing women this week.    It is our babymoon of sorts.    It does involve a flight so it will feel like we will be getting away.   I think we are going to go the aquarium and we are hopefully going to see Lizzie which I am excited about.    I am also really excited to only have two days of work this week.   I can’t really complain though – work is so much easier to deal with when you know that you are only going to be there for the next 8 weeks.   I have been finding I am a better worker.   I think my excitement about leaving is cutting right through my burnout.

I look like Mrs. Doubtfire

I am working night court tonight which means that I will be on my feet until 1 am this morning. H being a wonderful wife just come for a visit bearing compression socks because my legs have been hurting when I am on my feet for too long. I keep on laughing to myself when I think of Robin Williams pulling them on. I do have to say they are making my legs feel great.

A better update to come I promise.

a deep sigh of relief

My gestational diabetes test came back today.   It is NORMAL.   I am happy to hear normal in relation to my body.   Thank you body.   Thank you everyone for the finger crossing.   I think it worked.

13 weeks from now….

This morning I opened up my email and there were my weekly updates from two pregnancy by the week places.    We are at 27 weeks and both of them said that I could expect the baby to make its appearance in about 13 weeks.   I am sorry but holy SH*T 13 weeks is really not that far away!!!   Okay the freak out is done. (sort of.)

Everything is going well.    I have been feeling amazing and really powerful.   Or as I have been embarrassingly finding myself saying:  “I feel like a million bucks.”   Well, all good things have to end at some point I suppose and I have been feeling less like my body can do anything..  my hips in particular have been very sore.    I talked to our birth class instructor and she gave me some referrals for chiropractors who specialize in the pregnant ladies.   I am hoping that one of them can help me out.   

We have been doing a ton of nesting and cleaning.     I have gotten pretty intense about needing the house to be a lot cleaner.     So much so that our vacuum broke on Saturday afternoon (it was actually a bit scary because we think that it had a small electrical fire in the cord) and we were on our way to lo.wes and purchased a new one within 3 hours.    This is really  not like us.    We cleaned out an armoire that I have been using as a closet  and gave it to a friend who just moved.   Which made way for a crib for Sprout.   

We still need a mattress but I think this looks like a cozy little place to the baby.    It is on my side of the bed so it should be pretty easy to see and hear the baby all the time.    We are both a little amazed that we have a crib in our house.     That little white dresser is filled with sprout-related items and will eventually be used as a changing table too.   We have gone crazy on diaper buying.    We are going to try to use gdi.apers and bum.genius (although I am sure some disposables will be in use too ).   Our stash is pretty amazing, and we have been buying them all used which has cut down on cost so much.    These are the bumg.enius.

And these are the gdi.apers on the left side.    I would love to hear if anyone has used either of these diapering systems and what you thought.    In this drawer there are also some shoes.   We are particularly proud of these shoes because we made them two weekends ago.   We have been working on a quilt for Sprout too, but we are not really at a photo documentation stage yet.  

We have finished our second week of the Brad.ley class.    It is going well.    It is very difficult to be the only lesbian couple in the class, particularly for H.    The teacher is somewhat aware that not everyone in her class is heterosexual – for instance she makes a big effort to say partner instead of men or husband but then in the last class she read a passage about the power of male and female energy  in birth which made H and I feel left out of the class.   We need to talk about this with each other a lot more, and I am thinking that we are gearing up to have a conversation with her.   

I am always so impressed with how much Sprout likes to move.     We discovered this weekend that when I spoon H with my belly to her back she can feel the kicking.     I am waiting to hear back from our midwifes about if I passed the gestational diabetes test.    Please have your fingers crossed for us!!!

Paying it forward (an update to come).

Lizzie posted this on her blog and I won.    I am so excited to be doing this.    I have been in uber crafty mode and so has H.    We have actually transformed our whole table into a crafting table (which is a big commitment of space in a NYC apartment).     I am really excited to be able to make something for 3 of you guys.   Please let me know in your comment if you would like it to be baby related or not (I have some great ideas on both fronts)…

Here are the rules:

1. Be one of the first three people to leave a comment on this post, which entitles you to something handmade by me (something crafty or yummy).

2. Winners must post this challenge on their own blog, meaning that you will Pay It Forward, and send handmade goodies to three more folks, the first three who leave a comment on your blog.

3. The gift that you send your first three commenters can be from any price range, and you have 365 days to make & ship your item. (This means that you should be planning to keep your blog at least until you’ve received your gift and sent your gifts.) And remember, it’s the spirit and the thought that count!

4. When you receive your gift, feel free to blog about it, and share the Linky Love. If you’re not one of the first three commenters on this post, you can still play. Just create a Pay It Forward post on your own blog, and start your own chain. And encourage your blogging friends to play along.

Okay comment away!!