It is a time to be thankful….

We have come such a long way.

A year ago today we got up at 6:30 in the morning to get to Dr. B’s office by 7:30 – 8.    We had just driven down from Vermont where we spent Thanksgiving.    We spent Thanksgiving with me peeing on OPKs and tons of time spent on analyzing if the test line was as dark as the control line.   Often we were huddled in a bathroom together because we did not tell anyone that we were starting to actively try to get pregnant.    I remember that morning really well.   We were ridiculously full of hope, so naive, and I think we might have even said to each other that ever annoying statement of people who are starting out – “Lets go get pregnant”.      We were crushed that day because that was the first day after months of monitoring, even a water ultrasound, and a biopsy of a small cyst in my uterus that Dr. B saw the big cyst.     It was pretty clear from the beginning that Dr. B did not feel comfortable going ahead with an insemination until she knew what the heck was going on in there.     We were okay with this because I was not ovulating anyway.    I was so confident that all was really okay and that we would be able to do an insemination, just later in the week.    We went back to the doctor the next day and she was more open with her concerns.    Following that was a couple of weeks from hell.     I was told that I might have cancer, that they would stage my ovaries so that my eggs could be preserved for future IVFs and I had about 25 vaginal ultrasounds (literally).    We scheduled the surgery and really the rest is history.    The surgery was painful, but I did not have cancer and we were cleared to start trying in April.    We had such a different approach to trying to get pregnant in April then we did in November.

As we are up in Vermont with my family making gluten free cornbread stuffing for H (and the rest of us!!) I can’t help but to be so so so grateful.   We are here in our fertility process.    I am 14 weeks pregnant and I am almost thankful for this whole year including the not getting pregnant right away and the surgery.    We are incredibly grateful that all of our experiences prompted us to search for lesbian trying to conceive blogs and we found all of you.    There are those of you who I have met in person and  I feel so connected to – even if we just met once.    And then, in a way that I can’t really explain, I feel a bond with the people I have never met.    I think to myself about when you are going to find out if you are pregnant or not and I look forward to the post.     I am hopeful that next year as I reflect on things to be truly joyful about I can add tons of you being pregnant or having your babies in your arms.    There is a different air in my thankfulness this year then last year.    Last year I was naive, jumpy, and not aware of what this world would throw us.   This year I am more aware (although I am sure not completely), much less naive, and so settled in where we are right now.   What I can not really believe at all is that next year at this time our whole life will be different again and in ways we probably can’t imagine.

Happy Thanksgiving.