Whew…. am I really feeling the progesterone. I am sitting at my desk and googled side effects for progesterone and the results I could have written myself. I am so tired, irritable, overly hot at inopportune times, and of course the discharge is pretty bad (I should have gotten thicker pantyliners – I have not worn a ”pantyliner” since I think I was 12). The worst is really the snappiness – I just don’t have much patience – I feel like there is a communication barrier between me and a lot of the world right now. I have been telling my self that I might just be drug crazy. Poor H and I have been bickering – I hate bickering especially with her, I love her so.
And then there is the problem of hope. I don’t want to be a Pollyanna – although I have to say I am about most things in my life – but I do hold hope that we will get pregnant on this cycle. I have been stuffing it down, telling myself not to hope and to not be too disappointed if this cycle does not work. I very well know that it most likely will not – I have PCOS, this is our first cycle and life does not normally work that way. I have seen our dear lesbian friends (K&K) struggle to get pregnant and now they are after IVF, I have read so many blogs, but on the other hand, I know people who got pregnant on the first try. I go back and forth almost every two hours: “I just think I might be pregnant”, and “There is no way you could be pregnant – protect yourself don’t get crushed.” I think it might be the drugs talking, but mainly I think it is the problem of hope. Hope despite the odds is difficult when you want something so very much.
I know you reading this understand what I am saying.
6 responses so far ↓
j. k-c. // May 9, 2008 at 7:35 am |
oh I understand…and I don’t think it is the drugs (althought they don’t help). This process is soooo crazy making. Keep doing your best to take care of yourself!!
vee // May 9, 2008 at 9:37 am |
I say hope. If it hasn’t worked, you’ll be crushed anyway, so grab hope where you can. After all, SOMEONE has to get pg first time of asking!
mrsbluemont // May 9, 2008 at 10:05 am |
Oh hun, we need to go to lunch together. I so GET this. I’m all hope for you. Someone has to get the first time luck. But you have more than luck. You’ve worked really hard to get to this place. I’m proud of you.
Progesterone can kiss my ass.
Olive // May 9, 2008 at 11:18 am |
I get this too. I can never decide between feeling like we’re definitely getting pregnant this cycle or it’s impossible to ever get pregnant this way and we never will. I don’t like it! I agree with vee – keep hoping while the hope is there for the taking!
reproducinggenius // May 9, 2008 at 4:42 pm |
I find that hope is the greatest thing about the TWW. Sometimes it’s all we’ve got. And as Vee said, if it doesn’t work, it will suck whether you hoped or not, so enjoy the hope. It’s what keeps us going.
inlocoparentis // May 9, 2008 at 4:55 pm |
I am hoping that you fall into the “first time” group! Sorry about the progesterone. Ick.